Always and Forever
by Booklover1217
Summary: Merlin died for her King and her lover, as was her destiny. As it is her destiny to be reborn when Albion, and Arthur most need her. She has finally returned. However, there is one problem. She doesn't remember their past. Now it is up to Arthur and the others from their past to her help her remember. I suck at summaries. Better than it sounds I promise.
1. Chapter 1

'Why did you do that?' Arthur choked, his throat tightening with fear as he stared down, horrified, at the crimson stain that was rapidly spreading across her breast.

The sharp ring of sword striking sword and the roar of the battle dimmed behind him as he knelt at her side, clutching her shoulder's as he resisted the urge to shake her.

Merlin lifted her head, her raven hair shining around the mud that had stiffened it and her large blues eyes glazed as she gave a small, sad smile.

'It's okay, Arthur,' she whispered, her voice raspy.

'No its not,' Arthur gave a soft fob, lifting her head and brushing her lips with his, horrified when he found them ice cold. 'And you're not going anywhere. Your hear me.'

Merlin's laugh ended as a gurgle as blood ran down the side of her mouth.

'Still a bossy prat.' Merlin lifted a hand to his cheek, blinking as she tried to stay awake, fighting the comfort and peace the darkness offered. 'Even you can't change destiny, Arthur. It's always been my destiny to die for you. Your needed here.'

Arthur swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat, and held her cold, trembling hand to his face.

'I need you.'

Merlin's lips trembled as she blinked back tears, her eyes falling shut. She struggled to open them, and swallowed back the sudden pain and panic in her chest as her breath rushed from her body and the darkness pulled her away.

Arthur froze as Merlin's hand went limp against his cheek, his eyes popping open to stare down at her. His closed up as he saw her chest unmoving and her face peaceful.

'Merlin? NO!' Arthur roared, hot tears dripping down his cheeks as he pulled her towards him, and placed his mouth to hers, breathing into her.

'Come on, Merlin, come on. Heal yourself. I've seen you do it, you can do it again. Please!' he begged, sobbed shaking him as he held her body to his chest.

'Arthur…'

Arthur fought as a pair of hands tried to pull Merlin away from him. Another pair pulled him roughly away from the site and into their arms. He struggled feebly, trembling as the arms tightened around him. He held them back, sobbing into their shoulder.

'She's gone, she's gone…'

'I know,' Gwaine said, his voice thick with unshed tears.

Arthur watched, expression blank and eyes wet and gritty with tears as Merlin's body floated away in the make-shift boat, the clean white gown they had found for her glowing in the pre-dawn darkness.

A large hand grasped Arthur's shoulder. Arthur reluctantly looked back and nodded at Gwaine, the knight who was almost as close to Merlin as him, and who was watching her float away, eyes dark.

'I'm sorry, Arthur,' he muttered, and stood for a moment beside him in silence, staring unseeingly at the lake.

'I never told her,' Arthur whispered, his eyes closed and expression painful.

Gwaine frowned. 'Never told her what?'

'What she meant.'

'She knew, Arthur. You meant the exact same to her.'

'Arthur?'

Arthur turned and nodded at Percival, who face as pale and grave.

'I'm going to take the remaining men and set up a camp for tonight. We won't make it back to Camelot if we don't. And…' he trailed off, his eyes sad as he glanced at the boat almost out of sight.

The And went unsaid. None of them wanted to say goodbye to Merlin just yet.

Arthur struggled to find the words so he just nodded. Percival nodded back and headed back to the other men to deliver the news.

'I think I'll go help him.' Gwaine said, before slowly following, leaving behind only silence.

Arthur stood there for what seemed like days before the familiar flap of wings drew his eyes away from the lake and to the sky where he watched in shock as the Great Dragon settled by the shore, it's large, too human eyes looking sadly out at the little boat on the water.

'Goodbye, young Sorceress, it's been an honour knowing you.'

Arthur blinked as he heard the words, before his fists clenched and he glared at the creature.

'Why?' he said, coldly, his eyes narrowed as the creature turned its head and seemed to raise its brows at him.

'I'm sorry, Arthur Pendragon?'

'You know exactly what I am speaking of. Why did she have to die like that? Why not me?'

The dragon seemed to consider him for a moment before inclining its head.

'It was both her choice and her destiny, young King. Merlin knew for a very long time. She knew if she continued to fulfil her destiny and protect you it was very likely she would die.

'Merlin and your destinies were always interwined. She was to protect you to allow you to become the Great King the world will ever know, and to unite all of Albion. She served her destiny.'

'Was that all she was to you? A chess piece to play with?' Arthur shouted.

The dragon growled at him. 'I too wish for a different end, Arthur Pendragon. However, there will be a time when Albion needs Merlin again and she will return. It will be many long years, and lonely lifetimes but she will return.'

Arthur stared, eyes wide at the dragon as it took off, only pausing to set the floating boat to light with a burst of flame that was blinding. Arthur watched the flames glint off the water and felt a rightness settle deep in his stomach. Merlin would return. And he would be waiting. A hundred years if he had to.


	2. Found

Modern times, London

'Argh…' Merlin Emry's jolted up abruptly off the lounge she had 'affectionately' nicknamed lumpy, and slapped her hands over her ears, trying desperately to drown out the inhuman screeching noise echoing round the small flat. She groaned as her head pounded, and her mouth pulled down into what she assumed was a really unattractive grimace.

She turned her head, bleary eyed , and glared at her Uncle who smiled cheerfully back at her, his bright, too short, red dressing gown making her want to scrub her eyes out with soap.

Or maybe I should just go right ahead and just scratch them out. Saves the trouble, she thought, before turning away from him with a groan, burying her head in the doona.

'Oh god, why?' she mumbled, pulling her pillow over her head to muffle the noise.

'Good morning, Merlin,' Uncle Gaius said way too cheerfully, flipping the coffee machine off and pouring himself a huge cup, sighing as he took a sip.

Merlin opened one eye and glared at him. 'Was there a need?' she asked, gesturing at him, coffee machine and the too short dressing gown that was an inch from causing life-long trauma.

Gaius raised an eyebrow at her.

'Good morning to you too! I see you're not a morning person.'

Merlin sat up; blowing the heavy dark curls that fell into her face with a loud huff.

'Usually I'm the sunniest, most cheerful, Disneyesque morning person on the whole damn planet, okay? But since my most definitely EX- boyfriend Daniel- soon to be eunuch- Valiant decided 'you know what would be a fun thing to do today? Smack Merlin around' and gave me a concussion and a headache that feels like dull nails are digging into my brain I got two hours sleep last night. So, _excuse me_ if I am a little grumpy this morning.'

Merlin crossed her arms over her chest, and decided she would ignore how Gaius's shoulders were shaking as he tried to hold back laughter. She turned her head away and stared at the wall, uncaring at how childish she knew she looked.

She blinked as a mug was suddenly held in front of her and the decadent, oh-so tempting aroma of coffee wafted in her noise. She gave a groan and wrapped her hands around the mug, and took a huge sip, wincing as she burned her tongue.

The lounge dipped as Gaius sat down and she turned to look at him, as she moved her tongue, frowning at the uncomfortable feeling.

'Feel better?' Gaius asked, kindly, his lips only twitching a little bit as he took a sip of his own now lukewarm coffee.

Merlin blinked up at him, before giving a small, sheepish smile.

'Heaps.'

Gaius leaned back and studied the young who sat curled up on his couch, eyebrows furrowed.

'I think it's safe to say you've moved on from denial to anger.'

Merlin's eyes narrowed as she lifted a hand to touch the line of stitches above her right brow.

'Yeah and if I ever see that prick again, I promise that he'll be looking a lot worse than I am.'

Gaius chuckled, as he placed his mug on the coffee table.

'I wouldn't expect anything less.'

Merlin blew on her coffee, and wriggled in the silence that followed.

'Thank you, by the way. You know, for setting me up here last night, and stitching me up. Literally. I just…you know how Uther is. He would have just sent me packing straight back to Daniel.'

Gaius expression suddenly darkened. Yes, he knew all about Merlin's step-father, Uther, more than the girl knew herself. The man hadn't changed from one lifetime to the next and has made it his life to cause misery and pain wherever he went. Expect this time around, he focused on one person in particular- Merlin.

Uther had married Gaius's sister Hunith when the girl was only seven years old and had taken one look at her and knew that she was different. Something Uther could never tolerate. And there had started the gradual isolation of Merlin and Hunith from the rest of her, including Gaius, his wife Freya and their son Lance.

He'd never been more shocked in his life when Merlin had shown up last night shaking in the rain, wearing nothing but a drench nightgown, her dark hair slick to her head and blood dribbling down her face.

The horrible thing is that he had never made the connection that his sister's daughter, the large-eyed, wild haired Linny had been their Merlin. The Merlin they had searching for and who hadn't been reborn since her death in Camelot. The Merlin who had stood before him last night, her face pale and drawn as she smiled sadly, and said 'Hello Uncle Gaius.'

That greeting alone had been enough to confirm his worst fears. Merlin had no memories of her past.

'Uncle Gaius,' Merlin asked, ducking down to look at him, her eyes wide with worry. 'Hey, you okay?'

Gaius blinked and looked at her blankly. 'What?'

Merlin gave him an odd look. 'Are you okay? You kind of blanked out there.'

Gaius shook his head and gave her a too-bright smile as he stood and made his way over to the kitchen.

'Don't worry, I'm just thinking. You hungry? I was thinking of making some breakfast. Your Aunt Freya should be home from her night-shift at the hospital soon.'

Merlin shook her head slowly, before standing up and pulling the oversized shirt she was wearing further down her thighs as she walked towards the kitchen, stepping over the sleeping black kitten, Mordred, who lifted his head to glare at her before laying it down again.

Merlin rolled her eyes at it. Damn evil cat, she thought, as she sat down on one of the benches, and watched her Uncle Gaius move around the kitchen.

He had been acting weird ever since she'd turned up last night. She'd caught him staring at her during the night as Aunt Freya had rushed around, bringing out an old shirt of her cousin Lance's and piling blanket upon blanket over her and force-feeding her food. It was almost expectant. Like he was waiting for something to happen.

Merlin tugged on the edge of her shirt, and asked quickly, before she lost her nerve, 'Uncle Gaius, are you weirded out by the whole magic thing?'

Gaius froze before swinging around, holding the spatula in mid-air, frowning.

He put the spatula down on the counter and came to stand in front of her, taking her hand in one of his.

'Why would I be?'

Merlin shrugged, looking lost. 'Uther always was. He hates me for it. And you've been acting weird so I just thought…'

Gaius shook his head, smiling kindly. 'Uther's an idiot. I've known about your…your mum told me about your abilities through letters when you were little. I have to admit I thought she was insane. That was, of course, until Lance came back from staying at your house, chattering some nonsense about dancing ginger-bread men.'

'I remember that. I threatened to beat him if he tattled,' she laughed before she sobered. 'Uncle Gaius, you know that eventually Uther will wise up enough to come looking for me here, right? I'm going to have to find somewhere else to hide out, cause I sure as hell am not going back to that git, even kicking and screaming.'

Gaius nodded, looking sombre. 'I know. But don't worry, someone has just moved out of the flat where Lance lives with a bunch of friends. I was going to give a call and see if it's still open.'

Merlin's eyes widened and she grinned. 'Thank you so much, Uncle Gaius. I really appreciate it.'

Gaius smiled. 'You're welcome,' and then he lifted his head as he heard the front door creak open, 'That must be your Aunt Freya. Can you go help her with the groceries?'

The phone rang in his ear as Gaius stood in the kitchen, peeking through the doorway to watch Merlin and Freya talking like old-friends and munching on peanut M & Ms as they watched some ridiculous make-over show on the television.

He inched back into the kitchen as the phone suddenly clicked on and a familiar bright voice sang, 'Hello.'

'Hello Gwen.'

'Gaius,' she said, and he could hear the smile in her voice, 'how are you? What have you been up to? Lance is still on the camping trip with the boys if you're looking for him? Not that I think you'd only ring to talk to him, of course,' she said, hurriedly, not stopping for breath.

Gaius smiled, despite himself and interrupted quickly, 'I'm fine, thank you, Gwen. And actually I was ringing to ask you something.'

'What's up?' she asked, her voice curious.

'Is that room still up for rent at the flat?'

'Uh…yeah it is. Why, what's going on Gaius? Is Freya finally kicking you out?' she joked, trying to cover up the sudden anxiousness in her voice.

Gaius closed his eyes, chuckling weakly. 'Not yet. I just have someone who desperately needs a place to stay.'

Gwen was silent for a second before, 'Who?'

'Merlin's here, Gwen,' he told her, and heard her sudden intake of breath and a loud crash as something clattered to the floor in the apartment, 'We found her.'

'Oh my god!'


	3. Back

_A loud crash made Arthur sit up in bed, hands up in front of him defensively as he looked around for the would-be assassin. _

_He froze when he spotted Merlin, cradling her knee to her chest, hissing softly, as she rubbed at the already forming bruise. _

'_Merlin?' he asked, dazedly, running a hand through his hair and trying desperately to flatten it. _

_Merlin peeked up at him through her hair, red spreading across her cheeks as her eyes drifted down to his chest before looking away quickly. _

_Arthur couldn't help the slight smirk that curled his lip up. _

'_What are you doing here?' he asked again, crossing his arms over his chest. _

_Merlin blinked and shrugged at him, slowly getting to her feet. _

'_Gaius had to go to a birth in the village, and the old goat forgot to leave me a key.'_

'_Meaning, you're locked out of your room,' Arthur said slowly, watching her play with her hair, something she only did if she was feeling self-consciousness or wanted something. _

_Merlin nodded, biting down on her lip._

_Arthur's eyes darkened as he stared at her lip, before he rolled his eyes and pulled back the covers. _

'_Get in.' _

_Merlin blinked at him. 'You sure?' _

'_Just get in, Merlin, before I change my mind.'_

_Merlin's hands went to the laces on her pants but paused to glare where he lay staring at the roof of the bed. _

'_Don't you dare look,' she warned._

'_What do you take me for, some peeping Tom? Just get changed so I can go back to sleep.' _

_Merlin huffed at him, and was silent for a moment before Arthur heard the unmistakeable sound of her laces being undone and the shift of material as she wiggled out of her tights. _

_Arthur peeked out of barely opened eyes, watching her legs slowly revealed, his eyes lingering on the way they glowed in the light coming from the open window. He swallowed hard as she reached a hand under her tunic and began to unravel the tight bandages that bound her breasts. _

'_Doesn't that hurt?' he asked his voice thick and rough. _

_Merlin's eyes snapped to his, the blood rushing to her cheeks. _

'_You said you wouldn't look!' _

'_I never said that,' he smirked, resting his hand on his chin as he watched her. _

_Merlin quickly pulled the bandage out from under her tunic and let it fall to her knees, before she crawled up onto the bed and under the covers. _

'_It doesn't hurt,' she said, as she wriggled as far away from Arthur as possible in the bed, 'It gets a little uncomfortable at times though.' _

'_Why do it then?' _

'_I could hardly train and ride with you and the knights if I didn't.' _

_Merlin curled into a ball, shivering as she tugged the covers tightly around her. _

_Arthur rolled his eyes and gave a put-upon sigh. 'I'm not going to bite you.' _

'_I k-know t-that,' she said, her teeth chattering. _

_Arthur reached forward, pulling her towards him by her arm and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her body up against his. _

_Merlin stiffed, pulling away slightly. _

'_I'm not going to take advantage of you. Now go to sleep,' he snapped, wriggling back into the pillow and desperately trying to ignore how his body had hardened the moment he had touched her. _

_Stop it, he ordered that part of his anatomy as he prayed Merlin didn't notice. _

'_Arthur?'_

_Arthur rested his head on her head. 'Hmm…'_

'_I know I'm hot, princess, but I _didn't think you liked me that much…_' _

Arthur opened his eyes and froze, his eyes widening as found himself staring into the grinning face of Gwaine whose face was inched frm his own.

'ARGH! What the hell?' he cried, wriggling back as far as he could in the small confines of the tent, horror written all over his face.

Gwaine laughed, sitting up in his sleeping back, his hair sticking up in all directions.

'Excuse me, princess, but you're the one who hugged me, not the other way around.'

Arthur shuddered, gagging as he ran a hand through his hair.

'Hey, I'm offended. I'll have you know some people find me very attractive,' Gwaine said, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting.

'Well I'm not one of them. And by the way, what kind of grown man pouts?' he said, shuddering again.

Gwaine rolled his eyes, before leaning forward and slapping him on the back. 'In all seriousness though, are you alright?'

Arthur ran a hand down his face and gave him a helpless shrug. 'Not really,' he looked up at Gwaine who was watching him, his expression uncharacteristically serious and muttered, 'I was dreaming of Merlin.'

Gwaine's eyes softened. 'I know, mate. You were muttering her name in your sleep. I had to do something to wake you up.'

Arthur gave a weak chuckle. 'And you thought traumatising the hell out me would do the trick huh?'

'Didn't it?' Gwaine grinned before flopping back down on his sleeping bag.

Arthur lay down, tucking his arms behind head.

'She's going to come back, you know,' Gwaine told him quietly.

Arthur was silent for a moment. 'When?'

'If you don't shut up, it won't matter when Slip comes back cause you'll both be dead,' a voice growled suddenly, flinging a pillow from across the tent and hitting Gwaine straight in the face.

Gwaine spluttered before laughing, and threw the pillow back, nailing Leon in the head.

'As if you could take both of us,' Gwaine said, throwing the pillow back and nailing him in the head, causing him to groan.

'Oh my god, all of you shut up and go to sleep,' Lance groaned, burying his head in his pillow.

Arthur chuckled weakly and closed his eyes.

A chorus of groans rang out as a phone started ringing shrilly in the silence, Elyan crying out, 'What the hell?' as a bright light filled the room, blinding them all.

'Oi, Lance, turn that damn thing off!' Percival yelled, pulling his pillow over his head and mumbling, what Arthur assumed, was a plan on how to murder them all.

Lance searched for his phone blindly, lifting the phone up and blinking at it before giving a sleepy smile and flipping it open.

'Hey, babe,' he said, sleepily, rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn.

He frowned and sat back up, 'Wait, Gwen...hold on a second...Gwen! Calm down, okay? What's going on?'

As Gwen's panicked voice sounded over the phone, Arthur sat up, frowning.

'Is she o...' Arthur began but froze when he saw the blood drain from his face, and his suddenly, almost comically, wide eyes swinging to his.

'Are you sure?' he asked, quietly, running a hand down his face. He listened for a second before his face hardened. 'Okay, give me a second.'

Lance lifted his eyes to the curious and concerned gaze of the others in the tent, and gave a weak smile.

'Ah…Gwen needs to talk to you guys.'

He pressed a button on the phone and held it out. 'Can you hear us, Gwen?'

Gwen gave a shuddering, nervous laugh. 'Hey guys.'

'Hey sweet-cheeks,' Gwaine said, grinning despite the sudden tension, earning a slap across the head from Lance.

Gwaine rubbed his head, pouting at Lance who just rolled his eyes.

'Gwen, what's going on?' Arthur asked, brows pulled up into a frown.

Gwen groaned. 'Why did Gaius have to leave this up to me?'

When no-one answered she took a deep breath and said, so quickly it was almost garbled, ''Gaius found Merlin.'

Arthur's frown froze on his face, and he felt his breath catch in his throat as he stared, wild-eyed, at the phone.

Gwaine gave a startled laugh before silence took over the tent, nothing but startled, wide-eyed looks and the heavy, choking sound of breathing.

'Ah…Arthur?' Gwen asked nervously.

'I think he's having a panic attack,' Leon said, crawling out of his sleeping bag and knelling beside him. 'Hey, mate, you have to calm down.'

'Put his head between his legs,' Percival said, his face pale. Leon pushed his head between his knees, rubbing his back before turning back to the phone.

'How the hell did this happen?'

Gwen was silent for a moment before she said in a rush. 'Gaius rang me this morning and asked if I had found anyone for the room. I said no and then he told me that Merlin had shown up last night. Oh, and by the way, someone smack Lance over the head for me?'

Gwaine grinned and happily slapped Lance across the back of the head.

'Ow, what the hell was that for?'

'You're an idiot that's why. How did you never make the connection that your cousin Linny was Merlin?'

Arthur looked up, still slightly gasping for breath and narrowed his eyes at Lance whose mouth was hanging open.

Lance met his eyes and held up his hands. 'Hey, the last time I saw her I was like, what, seven? How the hell was I supposed to know?'

'I always knew you were all looks, no brains,' Elyan said, shaking his head, before standing and holding his hand out to Arthur.

Arthur blinked at him, before taking it and pushing himself to his feet, his head ducked as he avoided his head on the roof of the tent.

'Where is she, Gwen?' he asked, quietly, his heart pounding painfully hard in his chest.

'Gaius is bringing her over right now,' she paused for a second, 'Arthur…there's something else.'

Arthur paused, feeling a shiver run down his spine at her tone. 'What?'

Gwen's breath hitched in a slight sob. 'She doesn't remember anything.'

Arthur heart froze in his chest and he felt his throat tighten painfully in a way that reminded him of that day so many years ago that he'd lost her.

'What?' he gasped, his voice strangled, before he sat back down, avoiding the other's eyes and buried his face in his hands, breathing deeply.

He felt eyes burning into him and lifted his head, his eyes dark and his expression determined.

'We'll just have to make her remember,' he said suddenly, eyes narrowed as he stood and looked at the others who took one look at his expression and saw the King they'd all know long ago.

'Gwen, we're coming home.'


End file.
